Returning Home

At the close of the year, I have been thinking about what returning home means.

In my mind I was all prepared to be starting a new chapter in Sussex, though it seems that the divine had other plans and I am - for now - to remain in London. This has allowed me to make a few changes at home that refresh the space and make it more comfortable. I have put up photos of happy memories and times with the important people in my life. I am grateful because I know I am privileged to be able to do these things: to have a home of my own and to have good memories to hold on to. Feeling comfortable and safe in our homes is a privilege and should be a human right. At this time of year, I always reflect on those less fortunate who don’t have a home or country to feel safe or at home in.

As someone living with chronic health needs, a disability, and being a non-binary human, I know all too well the challenges of feeling at home in our bodies and gender.

In my therapy practice, I am grateful to continue supporting my clients who often present with disassociation, gender diversity and trauma. They often face daily challenges of feeling at home in mind, body, and spirit. When I think of returning home, I don’t just think of returning to our safe place called home, but I also think about how one feels at home and safe in their body, gender, and mind. I think body and mind do connect.

As Deb Shapiro writes in her book, ‘Your Body Speaks your Mind’:

“The body speaks to us through symptoms. Symptoms tell us something is going on, whether through nature of the symptom, the effect it has, or the changes it demands. The word symptom derives from the Greek syn meaning “together”, and piptein, meaning “to fall”. In other words, disturbances, difficulties, or conflicting issues may have been present for days, months, or even years before finally “falling together” creating a symptom” (2006).

I came into and continue to work with the body and trauma; initially for myself I wanted to understand the relationships between body, trauma and psychology, and how they connect. I have witnessed how relational body psychotherapy helps clients feel more at home in their bodies, and cope and recover from trauma.

I want to take care as I approach the theme of religious faith, as I know for some this can be triggering.

I am a secular Jew, and there has been much in my life and going on in the world around me that continues to challenge my belief in a faith in there being something greater than myself looking after us. For myself, my relationship to faith and spirituality is an internal process. As we fast approach the winter festive season - which is a religious or spiritual time of year for some - it got me thinking about what our faiths and spirituality say about the body and mind connection, and what importance they place on this. It was so nice to see that they all place an importance on the mind and body connection.

Here is what I found out:

Buddhism:

“The body is central to the meditation the Buddha recommended most often mindfulness of breathing. “In breath meditation, the Buddha recommends developing a full-body awareness that provides the foundation for developing all the factors needed for awakening,” Thanissaro Bhikkhu said” (source Tricyle 2022).

Christianity:

“Our bodies are so important that the Lord calls them temples of God (Corinthians 3:16–17; 6:19–20). Our bodies are holy. Because our bodies are important, our Father in Heaven wants us to take good care of them. He knows that we can be happier, better people if we are healthy”.

Judaism:

“Judaism teaches that the body and soul are separate yet indivisible partners in human life. Rather than imprisoning or corrupting the soul, the body is a God-given tool for doing sacred work in".

Muslim:

“According to the Islamic view, the body, like the soul, is a “gift” from God; therefore, human being does not possess absolute ownership on his or her body”.

Sikhism:

“The Bani of Guru Granth Sahib describes the three qualities of the mind in the human body. They are matter, power, and entity. The mind is a part of the body. The body is a pure substance and being a part of the body, the mind is also a substance. The mind moves and controls the body through the intellect. The body needs the energy to move. The power of the body is controlled by the mind and it allows the body to use the power. Only by entering the body of the mind is a human being born and by leaving his body a human being dies,” (sikhizm.com)

Returning to body psychotherapy for a moment, Nick Totton shares this piece of writing from Jeffrey Maitland, who makes a challenging statement about relating:

“Everything that is alive is a relationship”, “Your body is not a complex thing composed of simpler things, but a living relationship of mutually supporting relationships forming and being formed at every moment. Your body is a relationship in which all relationships are related; fascia is the tissue of that relationship. It is the tissue within which all relationships are relating”. Nick Totton explains that, ‘not only living things are in relationship, they actually are relationship’ (P.29 Embodied Relating, 2015).

It is important to remember - whatever you do or don’t believe in - that where the body goes, the mind goes too. If you are struggling to live in mind, body, and spirit there is help there; you don’t have to be with your struggles or trauma alone.